Wednesday, 10 September 2014

oh autumn

Oh Autumn you bring forth in me, always, wellsprings of poetic thee's and thou's as if I were not hopelessly romantic enough already!
That signature rusty palette you attend to all the Earth with?
Slays me as it sets the very trees ablaze!
And by the wind
- shards of fire shatter from lofty branches and come to rest as a gaudy carpet reflecting above below.

Oh Autumn
Somehow, you hang sepia in the air tinting everything precisely, how so?
You stretch shadows and wash the horizon with a delicate water-colour rainbow,
Whilst those slow herds lurch with a mysterious new grace, 
through your low concealing veils.
Veils which are thinning now - as is plain to see from the frivolous clues left by the Fae
Their enchantments and mischief suffusing even the most unsuspecting of places.

Oh Autumn you close the summer in such a way as it seems it might really go on forever after all.
But winter humbles us abruptly into a quieter remembrance.
A reverence to the undeniable duality at the very core of life.
As you sleep, 
She dreams hope.

Rose Wood
October 2013.

Saturday, 6 September 2014

Enter Autumn (stage right)

This season brings with it allsorts of opportunities for foolish swooning.  Swooning over low mists and ochre earth, over chestnuts and mushrooms and flamboyant colour.  Over that feeling in the air and other such fancy stuff.

The very last day of the summer holidays was a beautiful one.  I found this baby Chestnut tree whilst I was clearing a flower bed in the garden at the old house which Cliff and I both agreed I can retain my guardianship of.  The imps planted a conker last year and with adult sinicism I said it probably wouldn't grow.  Well it did! 
The blush of the pears so nearly ripe is so romantic and we tip our hats to the holidays and Autumns arrival the best way we know how.  Fire.  Always with fire.  And hair and clothes that smell of bonfires for long days after.  That should always be swooned over!

I'm so glad the weekend came so soon after the beginning of term.  I felt like a criminal not being able to do the school run on Friday - not just the school run but the first of the new year.  I missed the excitement and the confusion the reuniting with mama friends after the break the anticipation and the photo opportunity at the school gates.  It tore at my heart to think of Cliff in my place and it was not that he was doing it instead, it was that I had no control over my ability to be there because of work.  These long hours are suiting me less and less now that I only have the children half the time.  I fear looking back in the coming years and feeling like I have missed too much.  I know I had to get a day job that paid a reasonable amount and I know something had to give at home but rolling a review of it in my head now, has the exchange of sacrifices been worth it? 
A reflective season this always is but this Autumn will be different.  Considerations will be different, inevitably and I sense protective barriers guarding me.  So I await to see if the critiques and inspirations will begin visiting me as the days noticeably shorten and the shadows lengthen. 
Love and light and blessings bright X

Exit Summer (stage left)

Autumn announced it's arrival on September the first with a distinctly crisp bright morning, a crispness that only September brings and which sends a little thrill through my soul.  Summer lingers more shyly now like a lover who does not want to leave but must, doesn't really want to say goodbye, turns round again and again once more on it's way through the door.

I have not, until today, felt the familiar anchorage in  beloved non-time this summer; far too much has happened.  This I have missed with all of my heart but on reflection and on balance summer hasn't been too shabby.  A lot of coming and going between the two homes and for the first time since either of them started school the irritating interruption of having to work some weeks of the holiday.  There have been two extreme speeds of time - warp speed for when the imps are staying with me; it seems as if they are barely here two minutes before they are gone again.  And slow motion as I pine like a mother wolf for lost pups whilst they stay with Cliff.  Two days here, two days there, the rota rolls like that for now. 

I'm saving analysis on separation for another scrawl, another day.  So many thoughts and not much sense to be made from them yet.  Slowly perspective is beginning to shed gentle light on inspiration.  The summer holidays were basic on almost every level.  I do not honestly know how the children will remember them.  Maybe they will choose not to remember them maybe they will block them out as the summer Mum and Dad split up.  Maybe they will remember the nice things that did happen and the united front that organically grew between us in the wake of such immense change.  This whole scenario has always been about damage limitation and how to be a shining example of amicable separation and co-parenting.  If you believe something passionately enough it shall manifest.  And so As Is.

I do not have half as many tales as I would like to tell or half as many photographs as I would like but we started with adventure day involving making catapults for rival clans of mice to use in battle from different sides of the river bank (of course!) 


and being sure to leave a gift for the faerie folk.

Meet Whiskey and Mr Rusty, our new furry friends!  It is adorable the way Zander cradles Mr Rusty as if he were a newborn baby, I have seldom seen him so tender.


The Zoo!  Yes this was our surprise end of the holidays treat to them.  I am a terrible secret keeper but I managed to keep it right until we arrived, just!    The reaction we got from them wasn't quite what I had envisaged, much more 'huh?' than 'yay!'  I had my video camera at the ready but it was barely worth it, they'd no idea what a zoo is like having never been before.  But as is evident they settled in quite quickly, we could have left them with the monkeys and no one would have noticed.



Sealions are my new favourite animals (yes Squirrels have been demoted!)  They had an amazing sense of humour on them and were very willing to show off in return for a seemingly infinite supply of fish.

It has been a maelstrom of states and emotions.  It has been disjointed and a little bit surreal but we made it through in one piece.  Paradoxically I am glad it's all over yet not one bit at all.

So to summer I say 'so long and thanks for all the fish'.  To life I say What's next?

love and light and blessings bright X