Who am I and what am I here for?
The days and nights that I do not have the imps staying with me I watch myself intermittently feeling purposeless and lost. Strange it was to linger in bed the first solitary Sunday morning - irksome to catch myself thinking what is the point in getting up there is no thing I must attend to no purpose to my presence no reason. Then once finally emerging only to hide all day in culinary distractions seasoning each dish with salty tears, admonishing myself for even contemplating this part time parenting model!
I am so used to being mama and house wife I have no idea how to be just Rose. In fact who is just Rose? And what is she here for besides Mama and guide to Zander & Gaia?
It occurs to me that whilst in this beginning it stings and smarts to be without the two remote pieces of my heart I created, space that at first is feeling irksome and awkward may contain a luxurious opportunity that would not otherwise have been afforded me. The opportunity to, out of necessity, identify myself singularly and then grow myself exponentially.
How about that.
Always with love X