Friday, 16 August 2013

Going Home

 ... by home I don't mean my Mama's house or any man made structure I've ever lived in before.  I mean the home that never ceases to lift the weight of my troubles from my shoulders the instant I arrive, the one that my soul belongs to, the one that sings songs as I shrug off a heavy coat of stress - the songs I noticed today that my boy hears on the breeze and the whispers in the leaves too.  It's the one place we 3 are all guaranteed to behave ourselves and play nicely together!

Some places demand that I fall in love with my kids all over again however much of a bat-shit-crazy kind of day or week or month we've been having.  Free from distraction and drudgery.  The Woods ... The Mushroom Tree.  It was a Beech tree exquisite in it's precision structure ~ the way it's branches have grown to form a curious curvaceous cap that makes it look like said mushroom and underneath these branches, almost definitely on purpose, an ethereal hide out waiting for just the right size pixie ... how I wished I was 6!  A branch, the perfect height for little legs to climb to, the perfect ledge to safely recline on and boasting leafy emerald framed windows from all aspects.  I saw my boy start buzzing, high on woodland vibrations.  I heard him buzzing, articulating, using words and tones he's not used before in perfect context and I saw pure happiness radiating from his face.  '

Oh mummy this is the bestest feeling I've ever had, this is the bestest I have ever felt.  I'm telling you this is irresistible, I have all these windows, I feel like a pixie, I have the best view of you from here' 

 This Beech sister seemed to have spoken to his wild little heart and he wanted to sit, just sit and sit, looking out of his pixie windows, feeling every inch a pixie, absorbing joy like a sponge.  Ah it made my heart swoon and though I immortalise it here in words and pictures I shall remember in far more clarity for the whole of my life.  He gets it, weather he realises fully or in the same way I do, consciously or not, he gets it.  I mean  the life force, nature magic, that feeling we perceive exuded by the sacred untouched places of mama earth.  He must be listening some.  At least he's listening to something because it certainly isn't me!


The fallen Oak and the feel of it's wisely old bark underneath bare feet is my own irresistible.  I went prepared, certain that the imps would invent some wild game for a while so I sat in the tree reading Mary Oliver's poetry smugly watching from my vantage point the surprise of passers by to see a mama up a tree too.



Unmistakably, I can feel the turn of the wheel of the year.  In mornings and evenings though sunny there is a crispness that can only herald autumns slow return.  Blackberries are plentiful now and we have been making bramble jelly for the first time this year.  It is so much easier to make than jam!  The wheat in the garden is golden and the pears on the trees still ripening.  So tempting to the imps but this year we have avoided any pre-ripe stripping of plants and trees, they are that bit older and probably remember my spectacular tantrum last year after they stripped every last tomato off the vines, every last pear off the tree and made silly soup with them before I'd had chance to eat even one.  Gaia is truly involved with the things we grow.  She likes to just walk up to the veg plot and sit and look for subtle changes - if the tomatoes have slightly more blusher on today than yesterday, she'll notice.  If the leeks are a millimetre taller or fatter, she'll notice.  They both see the cucumbers hiding on the vine that I from my adult vantage point miss.  They notice the shiest most promising clusters of blackberries that remain hidden to adult foragers.  There is so much we miss from our fully grown height - I should crouch more when we visit the woods - see how the trees grow when I shrink, as surely as when I grew they shrunk.  I should sprawl on my belly more whilst hanging out in the garden, see the minuscule magic I once knew so intimately as a child myself.




They may be a complete pain the ass but how could I not love them with all my heart!

Always with love X


  1. Ahhh I feel such deep and total peace and recognition reading this :-) x