Thursday, 2 May 2013

Beltane Weary

This is what I like to see, mama's and littlies gathered together.  And 'though I was weary I was glad to be surrounded by them for Beltane ...

I have moved from a beautiful few months with healthy spaces between night shifts and an abundance of opportunity for inward focus and self improvement into an intense place of action where no time and little energy is my own.  I am feeling stretched in nearly every way.   I think this shift has to do with the moon and the planets but yesterday I started feeling quite overwhelmed, verging on teary which hasn't happened to me for a LONG time.

Today after (selflessly or stupidly I can't decide which) giving up my morning for something I knew my heart wasn't in just because I couldn't find it in me to say no to someone, I felt really despondent and lack lustre.  When Gaia and I came home, despite talk of princess movies, the warmth and radiance of the sun beckoned and we headed for the garden.  Soulhealing softly began when I lay down beside our faerie place, asked the Earth to hold and soothe me and saw the space from a new perspective ~ a faeries-eye view.  It was refreshing to think I might be in a jungle of grasses and dandelions then I rolled over and saw cloudbirds stretching across the sky.  Gaia was happy to host tea-parties for her teddies for a while and before too long our connected attentions turned to gardening.

...see, unmistakably birds.

The kids must be resonating with a good Beltane energy as they played so harmoniously whilst I caught up on sleep this morning before school.  And tonight they have delighted in painting each others faces whilst I cook, though it has taken some time to get it all off before bed!

Speaking with another mama yesterday has reaffirmed something I had been chewing on  ... I must try and visualise myself as five going on six, how do I see the world from that place?  How do I feel about my world and the people in it from there?  Just like seeing the world from a faeries perspective in order to connect with the Earth and my soul, so I must see the world through my five year old self's eyes to connect more with Zander.  I know these notions can be short lived, forgotten in the chaos of every day life so they feel less epiphanic but I must try.  I have spotted some slate hearts in hobby craft and I wondered if I had a few randomly placed round the house weather I might catch some of these ideas and hold them there a while reminding me within chaos to think more deeply.

And I need to climb trees, listen to the whispers in their leaves ... I feel a trip to the woods coming on this bank holiday weekend, mama needs to play.

love & light X

1 comment:

  1. I like this idea of seeing things through a child's eyes. It is so easy with all the chaos going on to lose sight of the simple beauty around us. I am going to try this.