A week since I got rid of the last trace of matted hair and emerged pixie warrior in training .... honestly? I am not missing them, not a scrap. Cutting them off when I did was the best thing I ever did. Seriously this style is so low maintenance, more so than I ever hoped for. All it takes is a quick ruffle with damp hands after getting out of bed, pixie bed hair totally rocks it turns out! And the longer it is left unwashed the better it looks with all those fabulous natural oils working again. I've kept the 'no-poo' pledge and am still only using this natural store cupboard recipe and henna for an extra treat. And these hand lotion bars double superbly as hair wax. Being razored it so full of texture and the quirky curls just get quirkier and curlier the more it settles in and it seems like it has grown loads already since it's hard pruning! The world around me has reacted with love sweet love. I have relished everyone who has noticed and everyone who has not. Acceptance and indifference as important as one another.
The biggest thing in all of this is the responsibility I feel for the intentions I first conceived and held as I started this process and continue to loyally serve. I purposefully consider them each evening at the very least, work towards them and review them where necessary. On a daily basis self improvement isn't easy to maintain with two crazy ass kids running about, a house to run, dinners to cook and night shifts to work but trying to gain a broader perspective looking at it on a weekly basis then yes I am definitely maintaining a space in my head and my heart for it. Had a bad day? Tomorrow is a new one. Listen. Don't pass signs, guides and portents off as coincidence. Consider, meditate, breathe, continue, practise. Each moment, each guide is as precious as gold. Hold it. Connect. And most of all I do not want this to be a honeymoon period that drops off a cliff in a month or so.
As well as being conscientious I'm taking time - took advice to take time, not to rush into or go searching for the next epic challenge too soon. Enjoy the space between breaths, between cycles, post completion. Relax. Be satisfied. Nurture - not just my children which would be the obvious message to read into that guidance, not a bad reminder but nurturing myself is paramount to forward motion for me as Rose and as a mama. I am my only care giver, self-care giver. Let my spirit be cradled in the bosom of yoga assanas and meditation sits, inspiring courses and books. Let crystals find me. Let me be open to and receive nourishment from the world around me - from nature, from the smiles of friends, my children with their unconditional love and forgiveness. Keep it perpetual even if the most beneficial pace is a leisurely stroll right now.
I have made space in my physical surroundings, transformed a corner in my bedroom, hidden away the gregarious orange walls under sarongs and drapes of mute and gentle blues and greens. I have my corner now full of trinkets and candles, flowers of the season and talismans I've combed off beaches, dug out of the mud in the woods, had brought to me by my children. It is the first time I have ever made such a space for myself. Carpeted, soft, a corner to sit, meditate, read, write, imbue, receive, be me. I am so looking forward to its evolution, I see other configurations in its appearance but right now I'm working with what I have got top hand already.
A more live and let live feeling has alighted on my shoulder, or maybe it's that naughty pixie who had me staying out waaaaay late last Saturday. I'll be home by 11 I said. Well 11 came and went, as did midnight and 1 am. I got back in at 2am. Hiccoughing cheerfully and still clothed I flopped into bed happy and content. Gotta be up at 6 am with the kids? So what. Gotta work a night shift the coming night? Who cares. Planning a restorative trip away by yourself even though the budget is tight? Ah hell just do it!
Ostara - Spring Equinox is a time to start acting on the dreams and inceptions we've incubated over the darker winter months especially this last with the new Luna year. And I've dreamt and visualised a whole heap of them up. It is a time to act in hearth and home and garden. It is time to act for ourselves and our community but to check in with our own spirit to make sure we are nourished enough to act in the first place. There is a tonne more veg to plant once the ground is drier for digging, better planning of that space is needed too this year to ensure a more constant and pro-longed supply and I want to properly research permaculture too, understand it anduse it to our benefit instead of just a term to excuse the over growth of weeds in my garden!
The house I am tackling room by room - where at first I thought furniture could not be moved and new configurations not found I am challenging that with the I can make this work attitude answering the call to get that stagnant energy moving and flowing again.
Spring is making a pretty poor show in this part of the country but the day and night were equal in length yesterday and in this I have faith, the wheel keeps turning. We did our damnedest to awake her from her lazy winter sleep - loved wildly dancing to music snaking through the whole house shaking bells and beating tambourines. I felt alive afterwards - heart pounding, breath fast, awake even if spring never heard us. We feasted then Lucy & I chatted whilst the kids ran amok. Zander sweetly set up a butterfly & chrysalis hunt and Gaia set up a baby chick hunt to keep them busy. I kept Zander off school ditching the focus on gregorian dates completely this year and turning it wholeheartedly to our Celtic/Pagan/Earth based festival days. In the past we've observed those other dates too as a sort of formality in line with the kids' peers/wider family and what school focus on but since last Winter Solstice I asked myself why? I feel justified in taking time out to honour ours like this especially now my kids awareness of what we do and do not revere is stronger. Ask the kids what we believe in and they will tell you with pride and a smile Mother Earth. So the Ostara bunny visited yesterday and Easter sunday will be just another sunday for us.
love love love X X X