I have brought illness upon myself towards the end of this week; from stress and discord in my life. But by becoming conscious of the reason I can allow myself to see it as time to slow down, clean the cluttered slate, start afresh and then transform. Gather strength in body and clarity in thought for changing within and perhaps without as well. I'm undecided ... do my beloved dreadlocks of 12 years go to help facilitate and symbolise a spiritual transformation or is that superficial? What I have realised from asking around is that most people consider them an aesthetic statement. Well, not really, not anymore, perhaps they were when I put them in but now they are actually a life style choice. Low maintenance, comfort and thermal insulation - I kid you not, what more could I want from hair? And the kids - they have only ever known me as a dread-head what would they think? I remember when my Dad shaved his moustache off when my sister was only three she totally freaked! It was an off the cuff remark from the Mr. that prompted this stream of consciousness - one that has thoroughly confused me and had me questioning life the universe and everything.
Anyway, turning always to nature to help me heal the sickness, aside from two occasions I have woken in so much pain that I took paracetamol just to get back to sleep, I am managing fine pumping my body full of healing herbs and warming spices. Here is what I have been using:
Tea made from half a teaspoon of mixed spice plus 1/8 of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper, 2 teaspoons of honey, a drop of goats milk and hot water. Basically a proper bad ass Chai!
Tea made from a hunk of raw ginger chopped then pressed through a garlic press, juice of half a lemon, 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/8 teaspoon cayenne 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg plus hot water.
garlic and honey on toast: toast a piece of bread well. Let it cool then take a peeled garlic glove and scratch it all over the surface until its gone. Coat the toast in honey and scoff. Personally I love the taste so I've been eating this breakfast lunch and dinner, that makes three raw cloves of garlic a day, got to be good!
Chilli - anything with chilli in it, the more the better. Tonight it was re-fried chilli beans and a damn good guacamole also with chilli in it.
Little bit of something sweet before bed - for me it's got to be lemon curd on a thick wedge of home made wholemeal bread.
Homemade banana and blackberry vegan ice-cream - way too easy to make and really soothing on a sore throat and packed full of vitamins.
Finally sleep, inspiration and music - lots of each - its not only about the body it is the body-mind-spirit interface that needs healing as a whole. I have allowed myself to read more books, more blogs and treated myself to some new music.
I still got the kids out to the park yesterday despite feeling like death and once we were home a pivotal thing happened - Zander asked to learn how to use the washing machine ... he put three washes on - yes three! I guided him through the whole process of deciding what in his laundry basket needed washing the most, adding powder to the machine, where the temperature and time settings where and once it was done he hung some of it up to dry. Ah that happy phrase 'child-led' ... yes let them lead and look where they go ... the whole idea of their time with us is to be preparing them to survive and thrive by themselves one day. Here is a seed sown starting to sprout. I believe it is especially important that collectively as mama's we do well with our sons for the sake of other peoples daughters, I don't want another generation of women single handedlly running the house.
And I am thankful imagination didn't walk out the door the moment illness walked in because otherwise we would not have had 'the best cinema ever' here in our front room. Zander made cinema tickets and Gaia 'sold' the popcorn I made which I put into three separate mugs so we didn't have to scrap over one big bowl as usual. We drew the curtains, turned the lights off and snuggled under a big old blanket.
With tomorrow nights waxing moon I will be opening my heart to the monthly renewal nature gives us. This coming week I am going to start creating a sacred space for myself. I have needed this for so long but I have never prioritised it. I don't have much space to play with but what little I have I am going to use imaginatively and treasure the process as well as the end result. True the kitchen window sill is strewn with special trinkets and photos and things we've found in nature but it isn't somewhere I can sit and meditate, contemplate, energise. This is going to be a great adventure - gathering things, preparing and cleansing then integrating into and becoming part of my space. I am prepared for it to take a while given how hectic life is but it is forward motion and it is for me and I am so excited!
Always with love X