Thursday, 24 January 2013

raw and unedited

Raw unedited feelings and words interest me so this is yesterday evening raw, slept on and unedited.  Maybe I'll play with it later, maybe not.


Because I am not super human


Because I am not super human there are no clean clothes; I've not done any washing for days possibly weeks and I don't want to do any today.

Because I am not superhuman I'm not sure I can be bothered to clear away the dinner things and leave the kitchen sparkling for the next morning.

Because I am not super human the cupboards are bare, I have not been shopping again and I don't feel like cooking so we are eating beans on toast again.

Because I am not super human I am having withdrawal symptoms from giving up smoking. 

Because I am not superhuman the house is a mess and I am too tired to clean.

Because I am not super human I am tired.

Because I am not super human I have shouted at my kids because a heap of stuff has got on top of me and their constant requests and petty squabbling have pushed all the wrong buttons.

Because I am human I make mistakes, say the wrong things.

Because I am human I sometimes feel disheartened at the struggle.

Because I am human I realise my struggles are nothing compared to those others face. 

Because I am human I need a hug and some unconditional love despite all the above.

Yes I have done things today, things that are perpetual in motion; steps, however small, moving forwards, but in the face of all the housework and boring crap I came home to all I yearn for is a sacred space to curl up in, read, write, drink a cup of tea whilst it is still hot, indulge in the humble things I now regard as treats.


Bright blessings X






2 comments:

  1. Virtually curled up sipping tea with ya ma'am! And ignoring the mess :-) Xx

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    Replies
    1. yes ignoring mess rocks, until it progresses to the filth stage of course then something has to be done, but the older I get the more I realise sitting down and caring for ourselves is much more important sometimes. X X X

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