The Season creeps into our home some more. Lady G and I have baked numerous batches of gingerbread and mince pies and last night I sat and watched Zander write out all his Christmas cards himself, drawing a unique little picture in each. I remember last year when he was only just beginning to write, he truly wanted to write all his cards but his attention span, interest and self belief didn't see him right the way through the list but this year he found joy and pride in it.
Last weekend Santa was camped out in some local woods and I heard tell he needed helpers ... any excuse to dust off the pixie threads really! It was a rustic winter scene playing out, with a fire going all day and other pixie-mama-helpers. Heart warming even through the cold just the knowing these will be memories my children hold of the winter festival in years to come.
Wishing tree at fairy woods, a hug is sure to help a wish on its way!
I'm quite jealous of Santa, I loved his shelter and Mrs Christmas was there too helping to hand out the baby christmas trees to each child as a gift to them and their 'Planet Too' the tag read.
Gaia will rule the world with her confidence, Zander likes his mama's reasurance still. Both of them make me go mushy inside with their uniqueness.
I have had the most ethical Christmas ever as I've found 90% of my gifts in our fantastic charity shops. No lesser quality, no air miles or carbon footprint, re-using, re-loving, giving directly to charity. I am just a little bit pleased with myself and can't imagine the amount of money I have saved and given simultaneously.
Still the internal soul work continues. I struggle to put words to this process partly for fear of somehow cursing what feels like forward motion and partly because it isn't very orderly in my head. I can feel curiosity and belief holding me steady and I feel things, little things making sense that haven't previously. This is good and long may it continue.
But my biggest struggle at the moment is getting the children to listen to me. Honestly it's as if I am not there. It doesn't matter how softly or loudly I speak they show no recognition or interest in me whilst my mouth is moving. It reminds me of the Charlie Brown cartoons where the kids are in school and the teacher, who you never see, is talking but the only audible sound is a repetitive droning noise - I am certain this is truly what the children hear when I speak! And because they don't listen they don't seem to do anything they are asked, then told. And then when I am frustrated and cross they get stroppy or upset and I'm the bad guy and the nag. Even appealing to them with a brief explanation of the whole issue is of no interest to them. I know they both listen well at school and nursery ... so relatively my worries are few, this is just parenthood.
Next week Zander has chosen to stay home and celebrate the Solstice here with us. I gave him the choice of spending the last day with his friends at school or having our special day here and I was so proud he wanted to be here for Solstice. They both have a growing awareness of what we mark, what we celebrate and revere. In school they have had vicars in and 'lots of God and Jesus talk' as Zander put it. He asks me questions, reaffirming to himself what it is I believe. I love to explain and try always to emphasis as well that we all have a choice and that just because I have my pagan nature based beliefs and customs doesn't mean everyone else does and we must respect that - just like with us being vegetarian - something they are also both aware and seemingly proud of....
Seven sleeps till solstice! Then we shall eat drink and be merry much!
Blessings love and winter wishes x