Just some thoughts ....
I know all the best parenting books and advice says not to say 'where's my lovely little boy gone' in the face of regular prolonged apparent bad behaviour. Some of the things that we've come up against behaviourally in the last year have consistently made home life a challenge. Into the fourth week of the school holidays now and Cliff and I both found ourselves smiling dotingly as we simultaneously realised that the affectionate, funny, life loving side of our boy has re-emerged. Last night I did quietly breathe the words ... it's like having him back.'
Seeing the change has shocked both of us. I didn't realise how much of an effect school has had on him.
He is only five and the school day is a long day. He needs more rest than his early rising sister allows him and I know that once little boys start hanging out in crowds a certain need to establish pecking order and test each others mental and physical strength appears. Familiarity in the family unit has been reduced as much of the time we spent together is now spent apart, we loose touch with each other on a daily basis.
I am glad of this realisation and the fresh light it has thrown on things. It means I can and am learning from him which I always aspire to do yet so often feel I miss the mark. When school starts again in September I can facilitate more resting and not put so much pressure on him to be 'occupied'. I can make an extra effort to bestow affection and make a start now in establishing consistent calm simple, factual responses to undesirable behaviour that I can continue using as term begins.
Last week I talked a bad situation through with him in a human manor rather than a peeved irrational rebuking authoritarian way. It felt good and once more I uncovered some reasons for other undesirable behaviour - all I had to do was ask him it turns out!
Love and light X