Friday, 6 July 2012

This is it.

This is it.  Yep there's the news flash, this here life really is it .... a big IT, not as in this is all, but here is what we have.  So many moments to pay attention to ... so much time. 

This last week has been mostly about getting through ... through seven days on only three nights sleep.  And I owe the fact I did to the philosophy of staying present.  It was brought back to my attention by a good friend who is living through tragedy who can only keep going if she thinks no further forwards than the present day.  I know working nights isn't comparable to what she is dealing with but it's the principle of not flitting off to the future or back to the past, that make the stressors in our lives more bearable whatever they are.  I have been victorious.
We have managed to fit quite a lot in amongst my flaky, sometimes cranky, tiredness - the wheel of life doesn't stop turning just because mama is tired! 

On Saturday twas my favourite ... yes the C word again... c..o..m..m..u..n..i..t..y ... coming together, rising like a phoenix from the grey tarmacked streets ... Street Party!  One street in Cambridge closes to traffic for the day instead replacing it with stalls, food, bands, families and good vibrations.  This year rocked for us.  The kids are old enough and fairly well versed in community gatherings and scurried hither and thither, drawing with chalks, picking out bargains, making new friends, affirming existing bonds and letting me whip them up into a dancing frenzy as bands played.

I have two memorable quotes from the day; one from Gaia who got a munk on as she tired until Ben's band started playing.  As they started playing (and whilst bouncing wildly on my shoulders) she holla'd down to me 'HAS THE PARTY STARTED NOW MUMMY?!'  Oh sweet child I see many happy years of festival going ahead of us!

But Zander wins the prize for the quickest wit and most matter of fact delivery - when I insisted that grey wasn't the natural colour of his skin and that he really ought to wash he said .... 'Jedi's don't have to wash their hands mummy' ... !  Oh really?!

Sunday (post night shift) my addled brain decided it wasn't a bad idea to drive all the way to Essex wired on coffee, to Mountfitchett Castle with the kids and Lucy's family for the day.  At some point I started berating myself for this decision ... think it might have been joining the M11 for the first time ever ... note to self ... I'm human ... not super woman!
The kids loved it though, we picnicked by an open fire and watched knights battling over land, wine and women, we scurried round after chickens and other wild life, practised with wooden swords, tried on real helmets and visited a toy museum packed with Star Wars memorabilia.  So though rather an insane thing for me to have done, it was succesful and kept  all our spirits high.

Back at the ranch the garden provides.  There is absolutely NOTHING nicer than going out to dig up potato's to put straight in the pot or watching the bears snack on peas and straberries straight from the plant.  Happy mama!

And a note worthy discovery has been wraps ... food wraps - tortillas, flat breads, pitta breads ... chuck anything in a wrap and they'll eat it.  Break through!

Gaia had her first settle session at nursery this week.  It is odd how different it feels second time around.  My heart broke for Zander as he went off into the world by himself yet with Gaia I am more laid  back, excited even.  This is a good thing as I have fewer fears or hang ups that I risk projecting onto her.  I can't help thinking Zander got the bum deal being the oldest .... someone's got to be I guess, I was the guinea-pig in our family.

As he comes to the end of his first year in the mainstream education system I've started thinking about what I've learnt from the experience - about him, about me, about the system.  But I think I'll consolidate those musings in a separate post.

Love and light X

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