... well, everyones except mine which sits sulking and unused in the front garden, cursing me and my hormones every time I walk past it.
But the kids have dynamo enthusiasm. As soon as the sun donned his hat for more than 24 hours and the clocks sprung forwards last weekend lengthening our evenings beautifully, it was all about the outdoors and bikes. For Gaia the balance bike and for Zander his big boys bike with stabilisers. I have been feeling guilty up and till recently for not devoting enough time to their cycling skills - watching Zanders peers zip around on unstabilised bikes with ease, judging myself as a bad mama. But this year, now Gaia is that little bit older, I can manage the two of them on bikes together no problems without worrying one of them will dart off into the road suddenly. NOTE to self - never judge yourself against other peoples inevitably different situations.
So every night after school I've hurried dinner into the oven, grabbed their bikes and headed off in the direction of the common.
I still feel so blessed to have this only hundreds of yards away, once we get off the housing estate it's like we live in the country - Cambridge is rich for ample green space amongst bustling metropolitan living.
The sunshine has done us all good, me in particular - I think I suffer in the winter, my disposition has been so cheery and happy go lucky this last month or so.
Been pondering the 'boys are special and simple' thang, determined to understand a little more. So I thought, lets break it down;
He doesn't mean to make me mad.
really all he wants is to feel my love and feel that he pleases me.
Ok, what can I learn from him?...
...how does he let me know he loves me and that I please him?
Ah ha, he writes me love notes....
... he can read and write now soooooo ... i'll try writing him love notes and leave them in his lunch box to find.
... excellent! His reaction to the first he found choked me almost as much as reading his first 'I luv yoo mum'. He beamed from the inside out. His teacher said he held on to it all day and when another boy tore it (not sure weather this was on purpose or not) he sobbed.
I'm trying not to be too predictable, not writing one every day - but often. And we've spent a fair few nights each week snuggling, reading books and falling asleep together in my big bed. This helps with the connection thang for all of us, there's nothing nicer than having two dreamy warm little bodies either side of me - one under each wing.
Finding time to meditate; with the best will in the world, it sometimes just doesn't happen. But I am ever aware of how good it is for me and as such everyone else in the house, how much I need it to be at my happiest. I bought this gorgeous set of turquoise prayer beads last year. This last week I've worn them constantly and whilst enjoying long evening strolls with the kids on their bikes or Gaia's mammoth bike hikes into town I've slipped it off my wrist and into my palm then turned it one bead at a time reminding myself
I am here ... with this breathe ... with this step ... with my children ... may I be well ... may I be happy
and you know what, it'll do. There's nothing like the rejuvination a long sit brings but if this is the only way I can fit it in then it'll do and it does help. Just like with working nights, people ask me how it's going and happily I can say that'll do too. It isn't a perfect senario but it works with things as they are right now.
I have applied for Gaia's pre-school place for next year. Only one day a week as I am loving my new found stay at home mum status but with this one day a week it will also give me time to do an access course in preparation for university in 2013, that is quite an exciting prospect!
some more sunny spring moments from the last week ...
Love and springtide Blessings