Thursday, 2 June 2011

Gaia's Day

And so she turned two.  My baby girl, though she will always be my baby, is no longer a baby. She walks, talks, feeds herself, she's so confident, chatty and bright.  She’s clever and funny, compassionate and polite to name but a few of her many virtues. But she still has only honey coloured wisps’ for hair and I like this, maybe because it keeps her looking younger than she is. And how I love the scent of my babies hair, even now it is incredible, starts releasing oxytocin all over again!

...and I love this little one too
Pre-birthday hype!
I pulled another late one on birthday eve; baking decorating, cleaning, wrapping and trying to enjoy a £10 bottle of wine through an ill timed cold....

                                                                              ...  I distinctly remember calling Cliff at work this time two years ago, a little fed up with feeling like an insatiably itchy beached whale!  I had a little sob and asked if he'd mind procuring me a bottle of my favourite Gewurtzraminer.  Ah twas a tonic for a frustrated and very tired Mama.
I took the rest of it on an impromptu picnic with my friend Lima and Zander the next day, the day I had predicted Gaia would make her way earthside. 

Lima asked me if I thought I'd have her that day and I think I said no, I didn't have any physical inclings, only that of my prediction but I couldn't feel anything.  I'd had braxton hicks two weeks ago and had thought I was going into labour but I'd had nothing since.  In retrospect, my belly was not only huge but very low and extreamly taught, poised, ready to go into action.

It's funny because I arrived back on our side of town after the picnic, I picked up dishwasher tabs which we'd run out of and as soon as I started the short walk home my waters broke. Perhaps it's no coincidence that just I'd done the last thing on my list of stuff to buy in preparation for the birthing period and babymoon.  And I think she knew this.  I think Gaia and I were very well tuned into one another, conecting in perfect harmony....
                                            .... I love to reminice that day ...

... anyway back to the present.  I couldn't enjoy the damn wine, couldn't taste the delicate flavours or relish the aroma of elderflower and lychee.

I tried I really did and I wanted to sit and watch the entirety of my beautiful, blissful birth video whilst sipping on that pleasantly aromatic wine and nibbling favourite cheeses. I wanted to celebrate my part in Gaia's emerging earthside and relive that blissful moment of non-time.  Realistically I'll have to make a little space and time for myself and another bottle of that wine when life has calmed down a bit.  I vowed to watch it every year and every year I  shall.

Present opening followed by birthday breakfast feast then hours of story book reading.  I'm having a reading renaissance.  I don't mean that I've gone through a period of not reading.  But if you get the kids to pick out a whole bundle of books they happily sit and listen until you've had enough of reading.  And chilling out on the sofa is always a treat for me, so I hearby vow to continue indulging in exciting stories and magical tales.  We've been blessed with many new books as gifts over both children's birthdays.

At 10.30 for want of something calming and realising just how grubby my children actually were we bathed. Gaia and I bathed together. Significant as she was born in water. Every time I lift her wet body out of the bath or feel her wet skin against mine I am instantly taken back to the first moment I felt her small warm slippery body in my arms as I lifted her out of the water for the first time. She didn’t cry, she looked at me alertly as if to say ‘Here I am’, I get that same look at six o’clock every damn morning!
I remember the luxury of sleeping in my own bed that night with my new babe in her crib beside me. I slept well but constantly aware of her tiny breaths. We lived in non-time that day, I love non time. And so it seemed on Sunday that we bathed together in non-time.
The day previous she was not going to have a birth day she proclaimed screwing her face up as tight as she could to say the word NO when asked if she was. I’ve learnt enough to know I can get the answer I want by asking the question differently ‘Who’s having a birthday tomorrow?!’ I asked and both babes shouted Me! That’s more like it, I like to hype it up a bit before bed time on birthday eve!
I put the fishing touches to the cake with some Borage flowers from our garden. I’ve made three birthday cakes this month, all different, all delicious! Next month I shall have to make one for the sake of it in case we get cake withdrawls!

It was a family day and more family came to celebrate with us. 
My brother drew chalk scenes on the patio so I had to jump into one like Mary Poppins!

... and my lady bird catches a lady bird.

And in the garden I have a spider maternity ward.  We have bamboo edging round one flowerbed and in many of the holes are mummy spiders and their egg sacks.

It flourishes ... and there is nothing in the world more satisfying than watching you children pick fresh fruit and veg from the garden to snack on.  Mangetout are abundant at the moment, good job really!


As we head into Gaia's second year, Zander's fourth, there are some adjustments I need to make.  I need to get to grips with how I handle frustration and stress.  My non-coping mechanisms at the moment are starting to become visible in Zander.  I have to be realistic, it isn't just his age.  I am fully conscious and totally aware of my weaknesses.  When he has a meltdown I see myself.  And when I have a meltdown I see someone akin to a toddler who cannot control their emotions.  The points may be valid but I need to find other ways of making them.  This year I will do it, for their sakes. 

The title of one of the many books I am dipping in and out of at the moment 'Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves' is spot on. 

And tommorow night a treat for Mama.  A chance to unblock chakras and get some positive energy flowing.  I'm going to a 5 Rhythms dance class with one of my dearest friends.  And on that note, to bed.

Sweet dreams X

1 comment:

  1. Lovely, and a very happy birthday to Gaia x
    Enjoy your day too Mama x