Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Leap and the net will appear...

 ….. it’s the title of an album I’ve been listening to a lot recently. Very profound don’t you think? It’s having faith huh? Believing unflinchingly, unquestioningly that you can bring something into being by thought and belief alone. I subscribe to this school of thought wholeheartedly. I truly do. And I’d like to raise my kids knowing this too.  I don't always manage to practice it but it very much agrees with my common sense.

It nourishes me with hope, hope through the challenges that all my deepest yearnings will come to fruition one day.  Some have already, even the ones marked ‘highly unlikely’ as they seemed so out of reach when I dreamed them up as a child.
Is it a paradox too?  Because  I don’t mean you should never question things, no, absolutely question everything until it agrees with your own common sense.
But when it comes to ambition and dreams I don’t think we should limit ourselves in what we want to achieve.

More birthday photo's I had forgotten about in the chaos of our lives - Cliff has been in hospital with severe tonsillitis.  Couldn't swallow anything, not even fluid let alone medicine, that kind of severe!

Doing the book of Gruffalo puzzles he was given by Lily & Mia

The Birthday candle I made

   Post-bake pixies come out to clean the bowl!

          ... and I've been making Elderflower Cordial ...
                   ... tee hee, I have 3 litres of it so far!

We’ve been crafty creative creatures here. Inspired by Zander’s big box of art supplies from his birthday I went and bought more. More with meaning.  He’s been asking for a dream catcher.  By chance I found a dream catcher making kit on Myriad, it arrived within 24 hours so we sat outside Saturday morning with a pot of chamomile tea weaving and decorating in the sunshine. Well, I wove, Zander instructed the decoration and soon we had our own dream catcher. He seems to believe unquestioningly that it will work and keep the bad dreams at bay … leap and the net will appear my son!

And our first felting adventures together at home. Felting is addictive! I’ve felted before , it’s so easy and so much fun. I bought a bag of rainbow fairy wool, all natural plant dyes, lovely...

We rubbed and splashed, matted, mixed, squelched and washed most of the afternoon in the sunshine. It has to be the perfect activity for little ones who need to cool off, get messy, play with bubbles, create, destroy and re-create all at once.

I think I’m going to make these first bits into flower petals to stitch onto a little headband as a flower for Gaia, a birthday gift … perhaps Zander might want to learn to sew with his Mama? And yes, yet another birthday on the horizon!

My BIG little girl, ever-so-nearly-two, came ready potty trained, it’s been astonishing! Last weekend I put her in pants, left the potty out and said no more to daytime nappies. I kid you not - we have not had a single accident since, not even when we’ve been out. She goes completely of her own accord, I just have to listen for her excited squeaks of ‘didn’t I!’ letting me know that indeed she did.
It’s almost as if she’s been here before, knows exactly what she’s doing. I get that feeling from her a lot actually. Wise beyond her years. Another leap we’ve taken recently.

Our new book, to compliment the binoculars Zander received for his birthday...

We read it cover to cover for bedtime story last night. I thought they may get bored as it is reference not fiction but after each bird they prompted me to read about the next. Most of them visit our garden already and Robin’s have already been identified by Zander. My grandparents loved watching birds, their garden was a haven. I learnt the names of the birds and their colourings early on and I remember specifically the dusty pink Chaffinch and the cheeky Pied Wagtail that we first recognised on one of our many camping trips with them in the New Forest.

I love reference books for the children, they love picking them out, picking a page.  I think they love that you don’t have to start at the beginning.  And hearing me read about the plethora of things they didn’t know they didn’t know! Informal, autonomous learning.

I would have liked to home educate. But we cannot afford to right now, perhaps one day. Our amazing local Steiner School have applied for government funding but don’t have it yet. We’re caught in a place where we don’t qualify for a bursary, yet we can’t afford it realistically without.

So with a slightly heavy heart I’ve just accepted the place offered in the mainstream. It’s a liberal school, no uniform which was important to me and I know many whose children have been there and they are all lovely. It was my second choice, my first was always going to be oversubscribed. I have mixed feelings. 

I know it will be exciting for Zander, yet it's the fact that my days of being soley responsible for his care, his souls nourishment and needs of all kinds are numbered means I can’t help but feel sadness too.

And a little regret that I’ve not used this precious time to better. Only trouble is I didn’t realise just how short and precious it would be when I sat gazing at my newborn four years ago.

And I bumped into a friend last night at the supermarket ‘want to set up a free school funded with money from the government’ she hollered … a kindred spirit, we ranted. Maybe this is another leap I should take … maybe I’ve not leapt enough recently.

Damn I love them fiercely!

Blessings X

1 comment:

  1. A beautiful post Rose x
    The bird book is delightful isn't it - we had that one for Imogen (from the library) and she loved it, read it over and over, and it sparked her love of learning about birds, we have a few books now!
    Lovely felting, great to do with the children and I like your idea of the flower garland.

    Well done Gaia on going nappy free, sounds very much like my daughter who just asked for her pants one day and never looked back, no accidents, just always went to the toilet (she bypassed the potty as it wasn't comfortable so she said!). Another milestone reached.

    Always remember that school is only a tool in their education if you choose to use it, they will still learn so much more at home with you, from those wonderful information books you mention - fill your house with the materials to feed their passions and they will blossom. My daughter is at school and loves being there - the social side is something I can't offer her, she wants to be there so much too. But she wants to learn and do so much at home too, sometimes sparked by something at school, often not but it leads us all places and especially into non-fictin books of which she adores and just devours. She currently wants to "study" lots of things - insects, trees, plants and Geology!

    I think I've rambled enough, your post just really spoke to me though of similar desires for me and my girl xxx